Phenomenology of Prayer: Praise


Praise. Something I seemingly cannot bring myself to do.  I pray when I need help.  I pray when someone else needs help. I pray to say thanks for the help.  I pray when I’ve sinned.  For what other reason should I pray? When something doesn’t go well for me, why else should I be compelled to pray when I can get angry instead and arbitrarily dismiss the existence of the same God I prayed to when things were going well? The idea of praise has never jived well with my prayer life.  It’s embarrassing.  Watching people talk or prayer openly about the beauty and greatness of their God for no other reason than to say it was always strange to me.  I pray when I need something.  The idea of praise as the product of fully re-centering the self was a huge awakening for my faith life.  My doubt and fears are rooted in the transactional approach to faith that I’ve adopted. Faith is a give and take for me.  When that unwritten agreement is broken, I feel like a cheated consumer. Is that what God is to me?  A means to an end and nothing more? What is a relationship if I cannot love for love’s sake?  If I can express my love for my mother or my significant other without expecting something in return, why can’t I do the same for my God?

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