Landscapes of the Sacred: Neither chosen nor entered

As a Roman Catholic, it was a given that visiting the Vatican would be high priority during my semester abroad last year.  Being able to walk through centuries of Christian history was a dream of mine since early high school. On my Spring Break, I was able to travel through Europe with a group of my friends where we were able to spend an afternoon at the Vatican.  I remember my anticipation piquing as we crossed the street and headed toward the walls of the Vatican--and how it immediately turned to disappointment when we were immediately surrounded by “tour guides” hassling us for their money. I also remember being initially encouraged by the crowds of people pouring into the Basilica--a sign of the universal and timeless appeal of the beauty of both Christ and the church.  I also remember being disheartened soon after when I realized how little regard these crowds had toward the sacredness of the place they had entered. Tour groups spoke loudly and took flash photography as they casually congregated in the Sistine Chapel.  I watched people push and shove as they made their way through the Vatican Museum.  How could such a beautiful and significant place be manipulated in this way--turned into nothing more than a commercialized tourist trap?  My heart was heavy as I left.  I felt deprived of such a pivotal experience.  
Two months later, my mother traveled to Italy alone and visited the Vatican.  She Skyped me after from her hotel.  I had warned her before about how horrible my experience was and advised her to lower her expectations.  I was surprised when she began to tell me how beautiful her visit was, how moved by the Spirit she was as she walked along the vast corridors of the Museum and gazed up at ceiling of the Sistine.  

There is nothing that perplexes me more than the ephemeral nature of sacred experience.  What is it that I was lacking that prevented me the same experience as my mother?  I think the axioms of sacred place capture that mystery beautifully, or at least provide some level of rationale that can appease my frustration.  

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